Birds, Bees, & Little Trunks
by Majin Maljita
Summary: A oneshot of Bulma & Vegeta faced with the infamous question: "Where do babies come from?" Humor ensues. Rated for some language at the ending.


**Birds, Bees, & Little Trunks.**

**A/N:** This idea for a fanfic randomly came to me one night while I was rewriting my biography in my account profile. I know I haven't had any time to update my major stories, due to a sudden move back to my dad's house from my mom's house. I lost all of the chapter updates that I had been working on so I have to completely redo them all. Anyways, I know loyal and true bulma/vegeta fans will appreciate this short story, enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ nor will I ever, so don't try it.**

* * *

The dashing saiya-jin prince had just come in from his daily workout in the gravity room. He headed towards the refridgerator, ruthlessly throwing the door open and grabbing the milk carton. The white liquid had become one of his favorite human beverages next to a cold beer. He grabbed a cup out of the cabinet and poured the beverage into the cylinder shaped object. Not even bothering to put the milk away, he grabbed the cup and downed it all. He poured himself some more even though he knew that his wife was going to give him hell for drinking all the milk later. He went through about five to six cartons of it in a day. She'd complain about how expensive it was and he'd always end up reminding her that she had more money than Kamisama, himself. His retort always caused her to growl and walk away in defeat leaving a victorious smirk to appear on his regal visage.

He was on his third glass when he noticed a young lavendar haired boy make his way into the room with a puzzled look on his face. Curious as to what his son was trying to figure out, he asked, "What's on your mind, boy?"

Trunks looked up at his father with much respect and admiration glistening in his sapphire colored eyes. He frowned and looked down at the ground for a moment before excitedly asking, "Dad! Where do babies come from!"

Vegeta instantly spit out the milk he had just taken a sip of and froze in horror. He didn't know how to answer that without mentally damaging the kid for life. Saiya-jins never had to ask that question, they just instinctually knew how. His son was different. The boy was more human in everyday matters than he was a saiya-jin. Although, when it came to battle, he was the exact opposite. He shook his head to try and regain his composure and quickly muttered out, "Go ask your mother."

The boy pouted and replied, "I already did. She fainted and then Grandpa told me to come and ask you. Pleeaaasse, Dad. Will you please tell me where babies come from?"

"The stork," His father gruffly replied.

"Father, I'm not that dumb. Only Goten would believe something like that," he replied arrogantly.

'_Darn,_' Vegeta cursed in his head. '_Kid's too smart._' He set his glass of milk down gingerly and leaned back against the counter. His arms folded across his chest. One hand darted up to let a single digit stroke his jawline while he was contemplating what he would say. With a maniacal chuckle, he began, "Well, you see..."

* * *

It was only about fifteen minutes later that Trunks wandered into the living room where his mother was seated. She was still trying to recover from her previous fall. The eight year old calmly asked, "Mother, can you lay an egg?"

Bulma looked horrified and pale. It took her a moment to formulate a response to that question. But when she did, you could bet on your life that it would come out in a loud shriek. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST ASK ME?"

"I asked if you could lay an egg. I want a little brother. Please, Mom!" Trunks pouted as he begged.

It only took her a matter of three seconds before she realized who the mastermind was behind this grand scheme. It was none other than the mischievous saiya-jin Prince Vegeta. Only he would be dumb enough to construct an answer like that and tell it to their son when he didn't want to answer one of the boy's questions. She knew her deceiving husband all too well. "VEGEEEEETAAAA!" She screamed at the top of her lungs beckoning the older man into the room.

'_Shit, she caught me._' He groaned to himself as he found his way into the living room. A shit eating grin appeared on his face trying to get his wife to melt so she wouldn't be so harsh on him.

"OH MIGHTY PRINCE VEGETA," she began sarcastically, "WHAT KIND OF ROYAL BULLSHIT ARE YOU TELLING MY EIGHT YEAR OLD SON?"

"I did what I had to do!" He retorted. "I didn't think you'd approve if I told him the truth and scarred him for life, so I told him some fantasy tale that Kakarot would tell one of his sons!"

She calmed considerably and appreciated his honesty. It was sweet of him to take into consideration of what her opinion about the whole situation was. "I appreciate that gesture, Vegeta. I think this is just something we're just going to have to explain to him together, Vegeta. There's no better way."

The two parents seated their young child down. It was Bulma who broke the ice first. "You see, Trunks, when a man and a woman love each other very much," she began. Although, her husband was quick to interrupt.

"Or don't love each other," He snorted.

"When a man and a woman LOVE each other," she emphasized only to be cut off by the warrior once again.

"Woman that's a load of bullshit and you know it. We weren't in love when we conceived the brat."

"Yeah and that was my mistake at the time." She growled. "I should have never given in to you!"

Vegeta's heart sunk at that statement. In a fit of rage, he snapped, "If it pains you that much to have been with me, then I will leave you. I'll stop coming to your quarters at night and separate myself from you, completely."

Tears glistened in her eyes and she quickly barked out, "Vegeta, you know that's not what I meant!" Her tone softened as she continued with, "What I meant was that I wish I would have had more time to fall in love with you before Trunks was born. I would have seen the good in you that was there to begin with instead of damning you every time you did something wrong. I love you, Vegeta. Nothing will ever change that."

Pleased with her answer, he allowed her to continue.

She winked seductively at her husband before continuing her previous statement. "Anyways, after what you just witnessed, that's why it is better to wait until you love someone, Trunks. Because if not, you'll end up like your father and I and fight about stupid little things. Then again, your father likes to argue just for the sake of arguing." She snickered causing her husband to growl at her actions. "Now when two people want a baby, they call up the baby factory on a planet called Boomshakalaka in a far away galaxy. Only adults can find the planet."

Vegeta's eyebrow twitched as he looked at her like she had ten heads. Baby factory on Boomshakalaka! That was even more idiotic than the response that he had come up with! '_What child in his right mind would believe that!_' He questioned silently. '_Trunks isn't going to believe that!_'

"Wow!" Trunks gasped in amazement. "I came from another planet! That's so cool!"

The saiya-jin sat with his jaw dropped at his son's response. He slapped his hand to his forehead. '_He actually believed that!_' Vegeta questioned himself in pure awe.

"Thanks, mom!" The lavendar haired boy said as he ran off to play.

Bulma looked over at her amazed husband and laughed.

"Woman, that was stupider than what I told him! I can't believe he actually believed that! Where did you come up with such an idiotic explanation!"

"That's what I told Goku when he asked me the same question many years ago. To this day he still believes he's making a telephone call when he's having sex with Chichi. Girls talk, you know." She stated proudly.

Vegeta just sat there with a stupid look on his face before replying, "This seriously makes me want to re-examine the intelligence of the saiya-jin race. Surely Kakarot can not be that dumb."

"If you don't believe me, ask Chichi," Bulma stated as she shrugged her shoulders and left the room.

* * *

"So did your mother give you the Boomshakala story like she gave my dad when he was younger?" Gohan asked as Trunks landed in front of the little house on Mount Paozu.

Trunks laughed as he replied, "Yes! I can't believe mom would make up such a stupid story. At least my father's answer was more logical. I'm a saiya-jin. What do they think I am? Stupid? I think I've walked in on my mom and dad enough to know how babies are made."

"Well, if I know your mom, and I do, she's just trying to protect you until you're really old enough to know what making babies really entails." Gohan replied.

"I know," Trunks grumbled. "I jush wish she wouldn't yell so loud when dad calls her a dirty little whore."

Gohan's eyebrow twitched and he nearly fell over from the announcement of information that came from the eight year old's mouth. "And with that, I think I'll go home and try to erase that image from my mind! Thank you Trunks."

Trunks just shrugged as he watched Gohan leave and mumbled, "Whatever."

* * *

The purple haired boy was walking by his parents room later that evening when all of a sudden he heard, '_Who's been a bad girl?_' Followed by a feminine, '_Me, punish me, Vegeta._' Not more than three seconds later, those words were followed by a '_What a naughty, dirty, little whore you are._' His mothers moan was the only sound that could be heard after his father had spoken those words.

"Oh man, not again!" Trunks groaned as he ran back to his room.

* * *

**A/N:** And, that's the end of that, I'm not sure if I really wanted to end that way but I figured I'd write it out like that anyways since I really couldn't think of a good way to end it - but the first half is hilarious. So, let me know what you think as always.


End file.
